12.12.13

conversations

How do I begin?
Just start off where you want to.
U cant tell anyone.
Okay, no one but me.
and you will reply quickly?
As fast as I can.
How is the stars?
as they always are, ever so bright in the night.
isnt it cold on the rooftop?
hahahaha, no the warmth of the stars is enough...
sorry for being weird  T_T
Im getting really lazy each day,
maybe its because im really tired.
Holiday is coming,
but I dont think I deserve it T_T LOL 
Hope I have a great christmas
first christmas alone...well I just gotta make the most out of it! 

20.11.13

these few days

these few days,
I just felt like the room was spinning,
everything was not where it supposed to be,
my heart was in my head,
my head was in my mouth,
my hands were on my legs....
what happened to me???
the days pass by like blurred scenes and
people move in and out of these scenes too fast too fast for me to see...

and days pass as if i never lived it.

why would I subject myself to such torture...
I should know my place by now....
I build myself up and fly around in circles
Waiting as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle


9.11.13

dont overthink

I remembered everything and you dont,
and it hurts me even harder to think that I am even trying.
All I need is one time thats all T_T

I didnt get to go Nottingham even though i guess i really wanted to T_T ended up sleeping the whole day to recover the sleep I have lost. I just lost a saturday T_T damn....
Oh and today after the waiting from 4-6am for the bus and not sleeping the whole day,(I tried to sleep in the library but aghhh:/ and I even mde a little bed for myself HAAHAHAh XD)
I walked down the hill from my University to the city 0_0 amazing
pls give me appreciation for the positive attitude...
cant believe i just done that T_T

4.11.13

:3

walao see dao no reply
lol this is what has been going on inside my head...lol
i rmbr my friend whatsapping me with this ahahhahhha
it feels as if i came all the way to the uk to become more cinabeng...T_T
lol wtf
anyway
I ve been through alot of stuff and im so lazy to blog about it ahhaah
I dressed up as Emily the Strange and no one knew who she was so I ended up being a really half assesd zombie,
I went all the way to Bristol...lol had quite a great time~`?ahhaha
I troubled Cherrie alot and I felt really bad,
but i met really nice people in Bristol ahhahah ;)
and I freakin stayed up the whole day like i couldnt even sleep and i went to a bday party and ended up sleeping at 2pm-6pm not good not good......but nonetheless it was a great experience XD??
and and I joined the zombie run organized by my uni,
I was dressed up as a cat,i know i know.....i was lazyyy
it was fun but not what I expected and i bang my leg on a chair lol,
after that went to zombie disco lololol...
slept at 4
went to 9am class
so dead
going to nottingham this weekend gg...i really have to do my work T_T
i need to studyyyyyyyy!!!
oh i did something stupid last night hahaahha actually not that stupidla
and i cannot believe i did it.haaahahahhhahhahahhaha
anyway
lots of things to catch up on
till i find more proper things to say ,
bye :D


21.10.13

eeeemmmmm_

i havent been myself lately.....

harloww
everyone!!!!
everybody here is like studying like mad and Im not T_T i have to start studying!!
przzz help me.

anyway
have been thinking alot lately,
and i thought about how i should stop thinking...

i wanna have funnnnn!





nobody cares who we are tommorow...its sad but its true

13.10.13

hey

hey guys im in uni???!!
wtf O_O
and i was being jiwang.
quite hard to be so far away from home and not be jiwang!!!


why dont we go somewhere only we know???

I started looking thru my fb pics and everyone was like homesick?
but im not exactly homesick just feel abit nostalgic and jiwang??
what is this?

well uni life is like o_o0_0X_X?
well i hope i adjust well coz everyone seems to be adjusting really well...:/
and my late nights and sleep deprivation is probably not the best thing to do for someone in a situation like me....lol

anyway,
people ask me to open up more and it is hard to do honestly.
its weird how i can be really quiet and then go absolutely crazy??
sometimes i even ask myself am I like schizophrenic?
but i guess its normal everyone needs time to warm up...:/ 

8.9.13

irony

Sitting quietly in the corner of the room,
slowly everything starts coming back to me,
that feeling,the tightness in my heart,the rush of adrenaline,like falling in love,like finally realizing ive moved on,like seeing the calm after the storm, finding the solution to all of my problems....
unfortunately this can never be requited...

ive lost it,
i really did,
this love of mine is not mine,
how can it ever be mine?
im different,
im not capable,
I feel so stupid...

am i really lost?

Ive tried soul searching,
looking deep into myself,
19 years just doesnt spell much,
but why is it at this moment,
i start to realize i wasnt lost all along...






i feel like kicking myself in the kidneys.
i should just slap myself and call it a night T_T

1.9.13

Adventure

Now that I have ended college/school life,
life is not that predictable anymore,
i dont know what to expect anymore,
the roads are getting blurrer and blurrer the more steps i take forward,
and every step i move forward makes me feel as if i have to forget and let go of everything in the steps behind,(but i cant and i dont wanna let go ;( )
It shouldnt be a bad thing, to... you know, move forward,
it should be exciting,
an adventure.....?

from now on all big decisions i have to make will dictate what sort of life ill end up living,
will i make a difference?
will i suceed?
will i be happy?
I really do want to say yes to every one of these questions but then again in reality it is quite impossible???


Anyway im blogging from my new laptop ahahahah YAY!! this is my first laptop ever......
I can finally play some games?!ahahahaha THE SIMS!
Today,
I sent off my friend,
his the third to go....;(
pretty sad seeing everyone leave....
And omg i havent been blogging in awhile,
recently i went to Taiwan on early August,
it was a great trip but it was damn hot...like death
and I am amaze at how all the Taiwanese ppl can still look so glamorous even with such a julao weather....
for me it was like wakeup looking fresh come out walk around and then i become julao...so oily n greasy.
I walked sooooo much,my converse felt like sandpaper scrapping into my feet n legs auchh...
I always thought converse was the best for long distance walking etc coz u know usually in end of the world movies the characthers are wearing converse muahahahah made me rethink all the decisions i have made in my life wtf
Oh Ya i played paintball too,
and I freaking was hero in the second round ahahahah
although i was 'camping' the whole time muahahahahahaah
okla i guess this is all.i should update more often hahaahah so i can keep track of what i have done so far....T_T
oh lastly this is late but yeahhhh!!!I have suceeded in my Alevels 2a*2a!!!YAY....i got a* in law suprise suprise...and becoz i was curious i checked the stats and found out that only 1.1% of students get a* in law ;) so maybe im not that dumb muauahahaha
omg i should stop kthnxbai!!!

15.8.13

im not very good at goodbyes

no amount of time can ever be sufficient enough to make a good goodbye
no amount of time can make it easy
you always want more time; more days,more weeks, more years
even though I had 19 years to practice this skill I can confidently say I still cant do it.

well hello its been a long time since I have written here!!!
alot has happen but I never really felt like nor did I had time to write a blogpost.i wish I did though so I can remember what has already happened....T-T 

anyways i realized this not recently  though but its been a while since I had this thought. 
this holiday would probably be the last and the longest one where i could just have fun and play around T-T sad

growing up is hard.
:(
I wonder how they all do it.
I wish to write more often to keep the memories lolololol...till I write again!!! 

24.6.13

춥다

sometimes I think about what would happen if I did something,
how would you react??
sometimes I think if I didnt do anything
what would have happened then??
U cannot make something outta nothing,and u cannot make something else outta anything.

anyway,
I have graduated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.....from college
its a bittersweet moment,
on one hand u know u dont have to study anymore,climb up freaking 644654 flights of stairs,student council work,
on the other, ur saying goodbye to friends,that daily exercise that keeps ur heart pumping 5 sometimes 6 times a week,and of course weird sc meetings in the sc room ;)
so yeah bittersweet...

I wish I had more to talk about,
but I guess i have to end it here,
no inspirationrerssfdf
I have photos to post up,
but this haze making me suffocate gahhhh




13.5.13

relativity

hours pass by like seconds every time I spend time with........
maths paper 3 wtfwtfwtf
I feel like a dumba** I cannot integrate for cheese......
and and chem paper five
why dilution question why
why 8 marks.yyyyyyy????
T-T

I feel like writing something long, full of substance but I dont really have the time or the inspiration to do so(gg) anyway,
music??



this song is ringing in my mind as I am writing this...enjoy






pledge allegiance to the struggle

and alil bit of jpop?;)


 back to studying


16.4.13

bittersweet



“As time passes, the day will come when everything will fade to memories. But those miraculous days, when you and I, along with everyone else, searched together for just that one thing, will continue revolving forever somewhere deep in my heart, as my bittersweet memory.”
― Honey and Clover

15.3.13

as it begins to haunt me again...no photo sorry :(

hmmmm....these few days what I have been doing was writing...
writing one hundred words, writing one thousand words writing one million words...
but it never seems to be enough...
T-T

Recently,
the old cinema was demolished
and it brought back some nostalgia...lol
I remember that was like 'the' place when I was young.
everytime my family wanted to watch a movie I was so excited to go lol...
I watched so many movies there,
including my first which according to my dad was space jam.
I remember watchin Lord Of the Rings there.
I remember the huge crowd and the super long windy line up to the ticket booth for lotr.
It was crazy there was so many cars around the cinema my brother had to walk out of the car to get in line first.
I remember watching the preview of lotr and getting super hyped up before going to the cinema about one or two hours earlier.
I had to sit in the kelas kambing where in later years would end up to be infested with rats T-T
staring up at the big screen and occasionally doing neck cracking exercises so that my neck can withstand the 3 glorious hours of lotr....
ahhh good times good times.
I should have a moment of silence as a tribute to that wonderful place...



















anyways,
I hope u guys are doing much better than me
a2 sucks its like u study like shit so u can study like shit again two weeks after.T-T
hb to the cranky potato and belated hb to the swimming fish lol....
hmmmm I sound monotonous...?


kthnxbai
I feel numb I guess thats good
it happens all the time
haiz whatevvvs
dont let yourself down
life is difficult

8.2.13

...?!

I dream about you everyday ever since the first time we met....every single day I long to see you and feel you........Nothing can compare to you............<3 :3























 It started with a bowl
 then another...and then another
             wild mushroom soup~~~~~~O_O

I miss you mushrooooommmm souppp i miss u more than u will ever knoooow muahhaha.suddenly I saw this picture ahhh really wanna drink this soup again

eh go Tabin lehhhhh...
THIS IS...........
TABINNNNNNNNNNNN...lolwtf T_T


okok hahahah I dont even rememeber taking this photo...
CNY coming up
Happy CNY ppl,
I hope your having better luck than me T_T lololol....

16.1.13

izayaokaay?

Helloooooo....
so recently school has started and yes ORIENTATION for the juniors!!!!
I didnt get to ask ppl to do stupid stuff coz i was taking photos of ppl doing stupid stuff...
but to bad my reaction time sucks,
by the time they finish doing then i press snap....haizzz so sad
the most funny punishment for me i think was the one made by i think the lock game
where u have to find the correct key to open a lock,
the game was like on the fifth floor la
and those ppl kena punish
have to do flying kiss to random ppl 3 times
and the recipient of the flying kiss has to do it back
ahahhaahahah
it was so funny,
the guy was doing a flying kiss to this other kid and he was like saying pls ba pls ba whilst doing the action hahaahahh so funny...
then there was the running around the corridors singing gangnam style and dancing,
then there was this team that had to sing black and yellow whilst squatting up and down ahhahaah
they didnt know how to sing
so they just said black and yellow black and yellow over and over again ahahahhah.....
if u dont find this funny then
then
screw u
aahahahhh
anyway it was a u had to be there kind of moment

Oh ya there was a haunted house
so damn cool
I provided the music which made the atmosphere x1000 more eerie :3 if i dont say so myself...hahahha
i spent the whole night before orientation games looking for scary music
i freaked myself out man a couple of times,
at first i was like why got dun dun dun sound in the song???
then i rewind
WTF its gone???

end up being a skypecall T_T
hahahhaah i realized all really short horror music damn sh*t scary ahhaha
and those long long one only consists of heavy breathing,bells and wind...
analytic abilities gooooooooo!wtf T_T
To prove to u how awesome it was,
i was actually scarred to walk to the end of the room where the haunted house was(I wanted to do it in the end but they started to clean up already T_T)
well I can say i have quite high tolerance for this kinds of stuff uisehhh ahahha
 ahahhahahahahahahahhhaha dont judge meeee
but got one guy also la
he just stood there crouching for ten minutes in the haunted house because he was to scarred to move on,
then my friend who was in charge of that booth and guiding the people just stood there with him T_T,
then i ask how long the boy stand there?
he say ten minutes like that
then i ask him so what did u do for ten minutes???!!!
he say play my phone
O_O wtf ahahahahhah

besides that,
i started driving lessons,
damn waking up at 6.00 wtf
anyway....i dont want to talk about the lessons but it is bad la
so sad that everytime the driver send me back from the lesson
he would drop me off in places further and further away from my house T_T??I have to cross main road again luckily got jejantas.
he told me
can i drop u off here(in malay) I want to minum with my friends.
wtf T_T???
ohwell
but what I would really like to say is
I drove illegally
not once not twice
but much <-because it happen so many times it is uncountable(NOT GRAMMAR PROBLEM I nozzz my englandds dont engrish me pls!!!)
so yeah I hope you can see me as a little badass now,
at least a little,no???:(
I can tick driving illegally from my bucket list now :3 hahahahaha

oh a little peek on what we do as student councilors
chicken dance in front of whole school




Hey look im holding a mic!!!

hopefully i can start studying now
results coming out soon
ahhhhhhh
i hope everything will be ok :D
baibai
have to stop procrastinating!gaaaaaaaaaah

1.1.13

Everyone supposed to smell like alcohol during the new years but I smelt like chocolate :3 ahhaahah

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!YEAAAAAA
2012 started off really low then it got really good then it dropped again
but luckily it ended with awesomeness...hahahah
ill start with....err after finishing AS
straight after the last paper I went to KL YAY!!!hahahah




all these photos from other people blog wan T_T ahhaahha sorry kimho and cherrie I stole your photo ahahhaha
the only group photo I can find is this one of me tipping toes for dear life to save my short a** self T_T
honestly I really look like i was struggling hahahah (just a few cm's then I can be normal why oh why ahahahahahahah)
straight after I reached met up with Serita (almost never see her for one whole year!) and had massive group chat on Skype ahahahah
we should do it more often :D hahahah
hahaahah I dragged Serita out with me to Sunway!!!
had loads of fun,but my wallet not so...lol
the craziest thing that I bought is two shoes of the same kind in different color
T_T never have I ever imagined my mother allowing me to do such thing ahahhaah
yala not exciting la my shopping I know I know...

always must take this kind of photo on holiday :D
In KL honestly I was very very sakai
i look at all the tall buildings and I was like walao so maju...O_O
its been a long time ba since Ive been away from kk ahhaah
The last time I was there was for the super junior concert with Vivian and Kimchi....
I realized I lost the super junior ticket,
oh well it was in a bad condition anyway,
coz my father tried to laminate it himself and it turn black T_T
that concert man was a workout,
coz of all the tiptoeing sad....
anyways can I continue to talk about other really fun stuff later I need to wait for people to upload photos T_T hahahah coz more fun ba got visuals :3
school starting tomorrow
but before I forget
I had a really awesome new years eve,
really different from the past years,
I felt kinda bad that I had to hug my parents and wish them happy new year at like 10pm T_T...but oh well...wanted to try something new this year....
I spent it with my friends this year and it was awesome :3
although what stays the same is missing the countdown
for three years now I missed the countdown T_T
but oh well made my very own countdown twice :3 ahhaahha
ended the year with yolo on my left hand swag on my right ahhahah my friends vandalized me T_T
smelling like sweet sweet chocolate...
it really was a pretty cool new years eve
and i forgotten about the sexyback written on my back,hhahahah
the next morning my mum was like what is that!!!!!
then I realized forgot to wash it off T_T